I just need a thingy

pamelarichardson.blogspot.com

I just need a thingy. If I buy this thingy, it will solve all of my issues and make me more productive. It will help me to achieve all my goals and more. I can incorporate everything into this thingy. I will only have to go into my thingy to control all the other thingy’s.  In addition, it will make all my other thingy’s work better for me.

This thingy will give me more time to do the things I really want to do. Spend more time with my loved ones. Heck, I could write a novel. I will have so much free time on my hands, I might get bored.

It will reduce paperwork. I will have a more organized desk. If someone wants information, I will be able to pull it up in a moments flash. So, you want the electric bill from Oct 1999. Here you go.

I asked the sales person. “Will I be able to get ahold of Tec support at any time, day or night”? “Will I be able to get ahold of a live person right away, or will I have to go through a touch tone menu?” There have been times where I have found myself yelling at a non-real person that keeps repeating back to me, “I am sorry I do not understand.” 

I told the sales person “I have also at times  e-mailed Tec support with my problem.” Because I did not want to have to yell into the phone. This problem is something I needed to be solved now, and getting my e-mail back in two days. Followed by another e-mail asking me how the service I received was. Sometimes, I got the how was the service I received before the maybe answer.

“You can go on our web site and look for answers also,” the sales person told me.  “We have a great menu for FAQ’s and they are very helpful. ‘He continued.

“How much is this thingy going to cost me?” I asked. 

“We have a low price of $$$ just for today” he said

“Is there a contract with this?” I asked, “If I decide that I want to cancel will there be a penalty for this.”

I think by now you know where I am going with this. Yes, technology is wonderful and there are many good products out there to make our lives better.  Unfortunately, we need to keep purchasing more of the technology to keep up with just having the technology.

Upgrades and security downloads bog things down.  That little circle just sits there and spins. I restart sometimes just to get things to work right. This really interferes with my Zen and flow.

What comes with your initial package is incompatible with existing thingy’s.  You have to purchase plugins, additional cost for synchronizing everything up. You spend hours searching FAQ’s.  You print out instructions to try to solve it yourself. This is because you know it is going to cost you money to call Tec support. 

Then again, if I got that thingy, I would not have this problem??????????

Road construction

Road construction

Road construction, slow constucksion.  It is everywhere you go. I had an estimate the other day and I came upon a roundabout to go through. The exit, I needed to exit out of shutdown.  A big red barricade, with a stop sign right there.  I did not notice the detour sign prior to this exit.  According to my directions, there was the house I was looking for.  Right there on the corner of all this mess. I could not get there. It was right there in my sights and I could not reach it.

So yes I did, I went around the roundabout one more time and took the exit next to the one I needed. Hung a U-turn and parked on the side of the road. Locked the doors and walked to the house. The person, I was going to meet was watching me. When I got to the door the first thing he said laughingly was “I wish I could do that.” He went on to say how he has to go all the way around about 1 mile out of his way, just to get to his driveway.

Construction people are very oblivious to traffic around them. Why should they be, they are amongst traffic all day and I am sure it all becomes a blur.

Years ago, when I was driving school bus, yah, I have had many jobs. I like to think of it as I am well crossed trained in many things. Anyways, those people (you know, the ones that have these wonderful project to ensure our safety) were putting in a new stop light on a very busy hwy. They had temporary lights up while they worked on the permanent lights.

 I was driving 30 some elementary school children in the bus at the time. The light was green going my way so there was no problem until a worker darted out into traffic in his small  work vehicle. ERRRRT, I am sure I laid rubber, slammed on the breaks and barely missed hitting him. The car next to me was not so lucky.  He caught the tail end of the small vehicle.

I do not know if I did the automatic arm stick out because I was too busy reacting to the vehicle suddenly in front of me! I doubt very much it would have worked anyways!

“WOO HO” “LETS DO THAT AGAIN” the little girl in the front seat yelled out after it was all over and I was pulled safely over on the side of the road.

WHAT? I Asked. I turned around and all the kid were laughing and gathering their stuff that had just flown all over the bus. “This is why I tell you kids to sit down all the time”, I yelled, at all of them. Funny how after that they sat in their seats. Ok maybe just for the rest of the week.

At any rate, it is road construction season so please be careful and be alert.

never look back

 Never Look back

I was driving down the road and suddenly I realized I was following my mother in her new car. I started to honk my horn and wave. No response! OK I Honked and waved again.  No response.  I then Hung my arm out of window waving and honked again. Nothing! No response.

Finally, she pulled into a discount store parking lot and so I followed her.

 I got out and asked her; didn’t you hear me honking at you? Didn’t you see me waving at you?

No, but I did hear someone honking, but I never look in my rear view mirror. I did not ask why, I already know the answer!

She is a helper of the time warp aliens(they suck your time away).when I get a picture of them I will post it.

 People probable honk at her all the time. She is one of those old people on the road driving 10 miles slower than the speed limit hugging the right side of the road cause the oncoming traffic is to scary.. Of course, you cannot pass her cause oncoming traffic is too heavy.

My brother, my almost twin, flew in last month to buy her this car. Her old car had broken down. She had also just recently moved closer to my sister and me. We were driving her where she needed to go. Well me a little, my sister a lot. Thank you sis.

My almost twin was miraculously able to buy a decent used car in one day.  He flew in on Friday and had to leave on Monday morning. Car dealerships are not open on Sundays. He had to hustle.

I told him that mom should not be on the road and he replied many people should not be on the road. He went on to say she would get depressed and she would be dependent on us. Thank you bro and I mean it.

Since then she has come over twice out of the blue.

 Just pops in!  

The first time I had just got back from being in the road for three hours. I had all kinds of paperwork and phone call to make. As I sat at my desk with all my paperwork in front of me, she just sat there looking at me.

OK!, I broke down and said, “Let go look at the rhubarb”.

The second time was last Saturday I was walking out the basement door when the C.O. aka my hubby, and her were walking from the garage. Well at least it was the weekend. I will give her that.  I was just going to start cleaning the house (darn it).  Again, we just dropped everything that we were doing.

 I took her to look at the baby ducks. Then we went for a walk and gathered some herbs that she wanted.  The C.O. checked under her hood, I do not know why she was so concerned considering she just got the car less than a month ago. My mother then went on her merry way.

Update! She showed up today while I was gone doing errands and left food!

Oh well!! I am sure I wasted a lot of her time in the past.

Actually, I need to pay her back in whatever means she wants because my siblings and I were her life's work.

That's my flow

Always know your competition

Always know your competition and deal with them appropriately.

Dang-nabbit I have been up and down this gravel-covered road and nothing. Zip, Nada, Not a blasted agate anywhere, I had been looking for weeks with no luck. What happened? Where were all the agates? Had I taken all of the available agates in the whole region? I was concerned, REALLY, concerned.

 I like to collect agates; it started when I was a little girl. There was a man down the road that would pay me 50 cents per pound. He used them to make jewelry.  This started my agate hunting adventure.

I have a large non-agate rock in my possession also (it’s on my mantel above the fireplace). It is just a normal gray rock about the size of a shoe. I have the words “my rock” painted on it with red finger nail polish. Why do I have this rock? I have no clue. Other then I was in the army at the time, in a place that I had never been before. Therefore, I took a piece of it, decided to carry it with me for the rest of my life.  

Anyways, I was baffled until one-day. I meet the neighbor’s adult son with his two boys 5 and 7 years of age out at the end of the driveway. I bent down to look at a potential agate. “Oh you collect agates to” he said.” We have been finding all kinds of great agate on this road.” “We even found one the size of a baseball on the corner of 110^th and Manning. It was great…bzzzzt….I could no longer hear a word he was saying. My mind was too busy screaming obscenities to him.

 There was a dagger in my heart. ” Really, I said feigning a smile. “Who gave you the right to hunt agates in my territory?” my mind continued to scream!

“Yah, it’s so much fun collecting rocks and we even got a rock tumbler,” the oldest boy yelled out.

“Really” I said. “I looked down at them and saw the glow in their little eyes, and their sweet little smiles.  “Wow, that’s great, I am really happy for you.” At that point, I realized I had more than enough agates in my possession.  I stepped down that day. I gave them the position of the official agate hunters of the territory.

After all, what am I going to do with all those rocks?  When I am dead and gone, my people will have no idea what to do with my rocks

So Always check the competition and make sure you deal with them appropriately.

Yoga, Chia tea and Church

This has been the worst winter ever. I do not remember any winter this cold, snowy or long. Every time I need to go out of the house, I have a little talk with myself (sometime it becomes an argument). I frequently loss half of the argument (the half that wants to stay home and not subject myself to such torture) so I head out wrapped in at least five layers of clothing. In addition, I add a few scarves and a couple of pairs of mittens.

This last Sunday it was 15 below zero. However, I did my yoga, drank my tea and went to church. I needed to. I don’t know about you but I feel one inch shorter by the end of the week. All week long, life beats me down little by little and by Sunday, I am hunch over and walking wacky. To many long commute times, sitting in chairs not made for comfort and frequently under pressure to keep going when all I want to do is take a nap.

All week long when I did my extended puppy pose in my Yoga, I was rushed (not the reason to do yoga or the right mind to be in). I would feel a lot of tension in my back and neck. I did not take the time to really breath and relax into it. So this last Sunday morning while I was in the extended puppy pose, I BREATHED, RELAXED, RELEASTED and BREATHED into it. I let go, relaxed into it POP! A moment of panic came over me, as you know that may not have been a good thing. Then the tension in the middle of my back was gone. I stood up straight walked without pain and felt revitalized. In addition, I think I am now one inch taller.

Now I have pushed myself before in my Yoga practice and caused damage that I had to work around for many months. I have learned not to do that anymore. I just do what is comfortable with a little bit of a push. I try to apply this to my daily practice of life also. Seems to be working, not pushing the buttons unless needing to and then with just a little push.

Anyways I was running late for church, slippery roads! In addition, I was lolly gaging all morning in my warm cozy house. I thought to myself that it was going to be a little low in attendance today anyways. I even had that little argument with myself before heading out.

I arrived and surprisingly it was a full house. I had to park way in the back and there were many people scurrying to get into the church also. Here I was thinking this morning that it was too cold for any sane person to venture out, (nothing I can do about it) and so I might as well just go. I sure am glad I lost that little argument with myself.

I sat in the back because the church was full and seating was scarce. I guess everyone thought the same thing, might as well go. We are all in this same misery together. There, as I sat and listened to the music, and sang along (the best I could do) my spirit lifted.  In addition, as I listened to the sermon I reflected on how it pertained to me.  My soul soothed. I BREATHED, RELAXED, RELEASED and BREATHED into it. No there was not a pop. However, there is a feeling of growing a little.

Now you are probable wonder what is the significance of the chia tea. It just tastes good. I make it with One-cup milk heated up. Then steep you chia tea in the milk. Then add a little honey. Yummy! 

As time goes by

I remember waiting for Christmas. The time always went to slow the months and days dragged on forever. Also, for that matter I had a hard time waiting for my birthdays. There also was the famous waiting for the end of the school year. Then for some strange reason I could not wait for the beginning of the school year, although that bell at the end of the day seemed to take forever along with the bus ride.

As I turn the calendar to April, I wondered where this past month has gone. I also wondered, as did you I am sure, where is spring? This particular winter has been harder than most and spring has been long time coming.   My mind turned to reflecting on things as it does from time to time. I thought that everything under this sun and on this earth have been experienced, said, done and felt by all people and generations.

Therefore, I need to ask. What are we waiting for? Are we waiting for that new best memory in our life? Are we waiting for a problem to be solved? It is probable both at different times. So then, I need to ask why we are not in the moment more often. Why can we not just take what is in front of us and except it? I think it is just in our nature to want to know the future and anticipate it. We cannot help it.

Today at church, the minister said something that related to this. He said that there once was a woman that believed that everything in her life was prewritten and all she had to do was live it. One day she was going down the basement stairs and trip herself up at the top. She fell down the stairs bumping and bruising herself. As she lay at the bottom of the stairs, she said to herself, boy am I glad that part is over.

Anyways, season change and the scenery also, it could be a building is no longer there or a two-lane road turns into a four-lane highway. We go about our daily lives watching the small changes day to day and then there it is. The old barn degraded and fell down or that two-lane road is now a four-lane highway. Yet the ground below us remains the same and the sky above is still forever. These two examples happened right in front of our eyes. We grow up and have children. They are little one day and then we turn around and they are adults with lives of their own. For that matter, we were once young and strong. Then day-by-day without giving it much thought we grow old.

I find that now days, I do not ever have enough time. The years seem to fly by and I am constantly trying to keep up with time.  Although, when I look back at my life, there have been so many changes. People have come into my life and gone out of my life. I have had many different jobs, lived in many different places and know so many different kinds of people.

I also have people in my life that are always present, but the relationship changes as time goes by. We grow we change we adjust and go on from there. Sometimes, or should I say mostly this happens without us even thinking about it. It is just the natural flow of life and love. I love it.

Yet the ground below remains the same and the sky above goes on forever. I realize I am rich with memories and ever-changing wonderful relationships.  That is what life is about. That is why I carry my rock with me. It keeps me grounded and helps me to remember the good times and the bad times. 

Pour some sugar on me

What can I say something just take hold of me; it was just as if I had no resistance of what was going to happen. I tuned into the convenience store parking lot, parked the car and got out. I walked into the store. and before I could even stop myself, there I was standing in front of the donuts. I must have been crazed or something. Then all of a sudden, I saw my hand reaching and picking out a cream filled donut. Stop! What are you doing? Why are you even considering this? Put that thing down and step away from the donut case. Run and never look back my mind screamed! I continued to walk toward the checkout counter with my donut in hand. Although, I felt a strong pull back to the donut case to return the donut back to its original resting place. I continued on my path of destruction.

I find it somewhat ironic but every time I am coming down with something, I crave junk food. I have no idea why, but I am sure there is some science behind this.  I was feeling just fine at that point and did not think anything of it except I had a big hankering for a creamed filled donut. It has been a long time since I have had a cold so I forgot the early warning signs.

Research has determined that sugar depletes your immune system. So why is it when I am sick all I want is junk food? For example, the only thing that sounded good last night (not me the C.O. wanted them, he likes every opportunity to have a good junk food dinner) for dinner was fish sticks and tatter tots. The first reason was that I did not even want to eat at this point anyways but felt I had to eat. The second reason is I cannot taste anything at this point and the third reason was I just had to pop them in the oven for thirty minutes, Tada done. Oh, yah and melted American cheese on top of everything.

About a week ago, before I got sick, I was listening to the radio and in one of their wonderful information blips; I thought I heard them say that we should strive for just five grams of sugar a day.  WHAT?  I immediately went to the pantry and pulled out a bunch of my food items.  I checked the sugar contents of some of my healthier items and was devastated by the fact that they contained tooooooooo much suuuuuuuugar!

Turns out it’s actually 24 grams of sugar a day recommended for woman. I need to clean my ears out I guess. Anyways that adds up to six tablespoons a day. Therefore, that is eight grams a meal, or two tablespoons a meal. Yah, I can do that, Phew.

Partner in crime

pamelarichardson.blogspot.com

You need a partner in crime. You know that person that really knows what happened to that lamp in the living room. In addition, that person  knows why you do not want to talk about it and neither do they. In fact, the more partners in crime you have the better off you are.  

Little secrets, like you go out to dinner with friends and one of you goes to the bathroom at the end of the meal. The other walks out with the other couple after they paid for their meal.  You assume that the one in the bathroom is going to pay and the one in the bathroom assumed you had paid. You get down the road 10 miles and an hour has gone by. So, says the one that was in the bathroom. What was the damage for dinner? I do not know you reply.  I thought you were paying for it. You both look at each other and laugh. I am not encouraging this. It can just happen.

 I was tired of newspapers lying around all the time. Every time I wanted to find something important that I had placed on the table, I had to shift through piles of newspaper. The C.O. read it occasionally and then just put in in the recycling. All I really wanted was the Sunday paper.  Our subscription was due. I did not renew it and told them we did not want the paper anymore.

All was fine and dandy for a month.  I would just pick up a Sunday paper in the mornings and everything was peaches and cream in that dept. The newspaper clutter was gone. YAH!  Then occasionally a newspaper would show up in the box. No big deal, just one paper. Then it started coming more frequently. I called. Stop Paper!    

We still get the paper. Wed thou Sunday.  The C.O. is happy because he has his paper back and now (as a special bonus) it is free. I am not happy and I am not paying for it.

My Zen

My Zen

La la la la la here I am humming along. Dote ta Dutta dote. I have accomplished almost everything I wanted to do (no problems) until eerrtt! 

My Zen absolutely interrupted. That gull-darn Internet security. Do not get me wrong I am glad it is there; nevertheless, when I cannot even get into my own blasted accounts, something is wrong! I have to use passwords everywhere for just about everything I need to do on line. There are all kinds of rules and then different protocols for usernames and passwords. Along with this every 3 to six month, you have to change them (for your security). My mind cannot take this. I have too much other stuff to remember, like what I am supposed to do today let alone remember all those pass words.

I know write them down. However, where did I write them down and where did I put that dang piece of paper? In addition, did I write down the new change to the password from the last time I was supposed to have changed it? Hummmmm? I spent a few moments pondering this.

They say you are not supposed to have the same password for everything. How can you? They all have different protocol and then it is mandatory to change them at any different given times. Not to mention you cannot have the same or similar wording from the old password, when you have to change them. I must confess, sometime I do use a similar formula for all of them. Yes, I have had those few moments when I have them all in sync, only to have to start the whole process again in 3 months or if I am adding a new device. 

Although it is amazing how they can be synced up together (if you know your passwords and user names). In addition, how it helps my Zen zoom along.

My mind!!!! I can’t do this!

Here is an example for you of insignificant threat of security. Let say a cooking web site. Really why? I would believe that they want me to use their recipes. I would believe that they would make it easy to access their database. After all, why would they put it out there for free? Who is going to steal my identity on their web site? Really? Why?

Therefore, since I forgot my user ID and password, because I have not visited the web site for 6 months. I have to go through all their security stuff. Heavens forbid it is not me wanting that recipe.  I have to answer questions I set up 6 months ago. However, for some reason I miss spelled the answer (imagine that) and do not remember how I misspell it. So I ask for help. Now I just wait for the e-mail or they do give me the choice of calling me directly. I choose e-mail, only to find out they have my old e-mail address that I cancelled and is no longer linked with my other e-mails. I went back in and choose call me on my cell phone, now I have to go look for my cell phone. In addition, go through the procedure again. 2 hour later, I got the stupid recipe.

Needless to say, we are having something different for dinner tonight. Maybe I will use the recipe tomorrow. 

I just cannot escape this

I just cannot escape this.

I just cannot escape it. At first, I thought I could just walk away. That was sooosooo many years ago. Then I felt an urgent feeling that  I needed to speed up. So I found myself running. Yet, no matter how fast I went, there it was. At first, I would just see an occasional glimpse of it, and then slowly and surly I would see it more and more  in the mirror, around every corner and in every refection. UUUUGGGGHHH!  The crone!

I am now considered an old crone, a stock character in folklore and fairy tales. I am an old woman. I am used in some stories, as disagreeable, malicious, or sinister in manner, often with magical or supernatural associations that can make me either helpful or obstructing. I am also an archetypal figure, a Wise Woman. Although, I am marginalized by my exclusion from the reproductive cycle, and my proximity to death places me in contact with occult wisdom. As a character type, I share characteristics with the hag.

I do like the title though,
Triple Goddess, 
popularized by Robert Graves and I am not sure about this but part of the neo-paganism, particularly Wicca in which she symbolizes the Dark Goddess, the dark of the moon, the end of a cycle. In New Age and Feminist spiritual circles, a "Croning" is a ritual rite of passage into an era of wisdom, freedom, and personal power.

Somehow, I do not feel useless. Neither do I feel that wise. Maybe a little more tired at the end of the day. However, I have a hard time sleeping. What is this about? I thought that I would incorporate more exercise into my life. But NO, I lay awake, because exercising more just causes a flare up of my sciatica. Also, other sports injuries I have acquired in my life just to avoid or slow her down.

I am at the end of the cycle. Things are spreading out, falling down and flapping in the breeze. Some parts of me have even developed a mind of their own and are growing in a direction they are not supposed to.

  Not that I am complaining, Ok! I guess I am. All the exercising I have done over the years useless! In addition, it used to be I could drop 10 pounds in three weeks by just cutting back on my food intake. I cannot cut back anymore! Furthermore, if I lose any weight, I just have more stuff flapping around in the breeze.

I did not go grudgingly into daughterhood, sisterhood, wifehood or motherhood. However, I will not go gentle into this rite of passage. I am going kicking, screaming and dragging my feet. 

My hair has lost its luster and bounce. I am thinking of going platinum. I might as well just cut to the chase. Right now I find more and more of these white strange scraggly things poking out of my head. They are unruly and a menace to any styling.  So, I am thinking of cutting my hair into the basic old lady short haircut.

My skin is thinning and starting to resemble something like Crape paper.  Gees Louise, if I could just go back to the occasional pimple of the past, I would be content. Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror and pull my skin on my face back with the palms of my hands. Oh! There I am I say.

All the supplements I have taken over the years to evade her, no relief. As if, they were magic potions. Even the special creams I have been using are just wasting my money.  I am still becoming an old crone. I cannot stop it. Every time I look in the mirror, there she is again! The old crone! This is not me, the me that I see in my mind.

Worst of all, in this new phase of my life I am in, I have to start writing down everything I need to do for the next day. This is distressing, because it takes me all day to write the list. Not to mention I have to carry it around with me because otherwise, I will be walking around mumbling under my breath asking myself what am I supposed to be doing.

I have been thinking of wearing scarves and turtlenecks, to cover up my sagging jaw line and turtle like neck. Now I know why they call them turtlenecks. To cover-up, your turtle like neck. Never been one to wear much makeup. However, I am sure considering it now. It used to be all I had to do was fluff the hair and go. Maybe a little mascara and blush.

This complete panic attack all started the other day. Like this was a complete surprise to me, duh. As if I had no clue, I was getting old. I was standing in a checkout line and reading the front of all those magazines, and then I saw Christie Brinkley on the front of one of them. She is turning 60 years old. Huh, I saw nothing spreading out, falling down or flapping in the breeze on her. Really, I thought to myself there obviously is some brush-up work on this photo. In addition, I would suspect she has seen a bunch of witch doctors that casted a no age spell on her

 Now we have all seen the pictures of plastic surgeries gone wrong, so even if I had the money, with my luck I would probably be one of those gone wrong surgeries. They would plaster my mug shot on a web site somewhere.

I began to look around and all I saw was old women. They were going about their business as if nothing was wrong. The problem came in when I realized I was one of them. We were all the same. Old woman, crones and hags. Of course, we were out shopping in the middle of the day. We have all day and all day to do it in, as the saying goes. We just have to get back home before dark, because we cannot see that well anymore at night.  We do not have jobs to fill our days.  We do not have small children to take care. We are crones. 

To my relief and delight, on this very same shopping trip, I ran into old friend. She is 10 years my senior. We talked a little and then gave each other a big hug. I missed her and thought of her all the time. I cannot remember why we stopped hanging out together. We talked for about a half hour and decided we needed to get back to our errands.  At that point, we exchanged phone numbers.  We also planned a lunch date. Of course, we both had to check out our schedule. As you know, everything is planned and written down in advance.

 Funny thing, when I first looked at her. I did not see the parts of her that were spreading out, falling down and flapping in the breeze. All I saw was the shine in her eyes and her beautiful soul that shined through them.  

Therefore, as I see it, I have two choices, not really, whom I am fooling. I have one choice and that is to except my fate. I am an old crone and I will not be getting any younger. Therefore, I will embrace my age, accept my medal of honor, and make use of my time to use it for good and enjoy the rest of my life.