There is a bad storm coming

There is a bad storm coming. It has been rumbling off in the distance for a long time now. I have always loved a good storm. That is Mother Nature’s storms. It is true though that Mother Nature does not discriminate.  She takes damaged and healthy out in her path. Although in time, there is always new growth after the storm. The clean smell in the air is always a welcome result.  Everything is now refreshed and nourished.

This is not a storm created by Mother Nature. This is a personal storm. The first wave came in last week. Actually, the storms have been coming in for years, probable 45 years now. I am 55 yrs. old.  Storms are always in the distance. As I said, I like storms.  I always have.

My father was an alcoholic, his father an alcoholic. It makes sense that I would accept this behavior as normal. I was the first-born female in the family and have a great caregiver attitude. I am also co-dependent and an enabler. You see I cannot look at myself with too much honesty. I would blow up.  It has taken me a week and a half to be able to write again.

Living with and choosing to stay with an alcoholic is always a hard choice. What else can you do? You love them.  It makes it harder when this person cannot admit it to themselves the truth. It also makes it hard when you yourself cannot admit to yourself that you also have a problem.

Sometimes things happen that bring you to your knees. Life is no longer the same and there are changes coming that you have no control over.  Your first response is fight or flight. First, I fought (which is why we separated) Then I wanted to run. I cannot run because I would be running from myself. I cannot fight because I would be fighting against myself. It would only be repeating the same patterns. I must stay and learn to let go. I must listen and learn to love not control.  I must learn to heal myself first in the present situation. Otherwise, I cannot grow.

I have taken the first steps to help myself. I have attended some Al-anon meetings.  I should have talked to Bill Alexander more when he lived right down the road from me. I was too proud and Self-righteous. I am not doing this to help the C.O. I am doing this for myself.

This situation is not about The C.O. It is about my problem and me. I love the C.O. and always will. Wherever this storm takes us, I will accept. I know that there is new growth and things always smell fresh and clean afterwards.

 

 

It goes with the decor

 This weekend I was trying to clean out the closets and the spare bedroom. They are both massively cluttered with treasures.  I have been looking at different decorating ideas and thought it would be nice to redecorate. Well, first of all the C.O. freaks when I say redecorate even a little. Havens forbid I even change the furniture around. Change is not easy for the C.O.

I had my box of stuff to send to the goodwill sitting on the kitchen table. The C.O. walked in and asked about what I had in the box.

“Stuff to go to the goodwill” I said.

“No, wait a minute I need to go though it,” he said. You guessed it. Half the stuff came back out of the box. “What’s wrong with the ceramic bunny rabbit,” he said confused.

Other then there is no need for it. The bunny was part of some Easter stuff I got from my mother in-law as an Easter basket.  Yes, she still gives us an Easter basket. More stuff.

I remember about five years ago, it was the C.O.s birthday and a neighbor friend of his brought over a surprise. He had made it special just for the C.O. Now I am sure he did it for a joke, the C.O. likes beer, as do most men.   I heard the C.O. say to him, “Sure, we can take that lamp.”” It will go with the décor.”

 

After all nothing else in this house goes together, why start now. Really, sometimes I feel like Ma from Ma and Pa kettle.  

When I first meet the C.O., it was love at first sight. After the normal two or three weeks, he invited me into his home. I was so excited to see his three-story log cabin.

 “Wow, your house is so retro” I said “I love it” famous last words.  There were two couches one pink and the other green both from the 1940. There were old lamps and an old radio. Also, there was a chair from the 1970s, which sat in the living room. In addition, lots, and lots of salt and peppershakers.  They were strategically arranged all through the house mostly on brown put together k-mart specials shelving. There was also an old round dinner table with chairs from the 1960.

When I first moved in the first thing that changed was the salt and peppershakers. They all went into boxes. I did keep on display Sargent pepper and uncle Salty because I like them.  

We have learned to compromise. As you can see, I have the C.O.s treasured deer skull in the middle of all my fine china and Depression glass.

 

 

Now I have lived here for going on 17 years and we now have an eclectic bunch of crap downsized to a manageable bunch of treasures. Although it is still eclectic, it is manageable.

The C.O. comes from it honestly his mother is a hoarders. She is a clean and organized hoarder, but a hoarder at that.  I could relate because my mother is also a hoarder. My mother is not as clean and organized though.  I am sure it is from growing up in the depression.  

 

I never could understand why anyone would want so many treasures. I guess I take after my grandma Johnson. Grandma Johnson only had what she needed. I am sure it is because you have to clean your treasures. She cleaned every day. She even ironed her sheets and underwear. Do not ask me why, I guess that is what they did in those days.  Grandma Johnson was a farm wife. Anyway, until I meet the C.O. my home was always streamlined for cleaning. I never had more than a few knickknacks.

One time I went over to a friend’s house when she was moving into a new home. She had boxes of stuff everywhere. “I just don’t know where to put everything,” she said. They had downsized and did not have as much square footage.  “I keep getting things from my mother and my mother in law,” she went on to say.  “I cannot get rid of it because it would break their hearts if they came over and did not see their items they gave me.”

I nodded my head and said “me to”.

“Oh you’re the keeper of stuff to’” she replied.

“YEP” I said.

Anyways, I understand the need for treasures. After all, I still have my rock and my roster.  I just hope my kids like all our stuff.

 

It is a big world

I was not going to post anything today. I was taking an afternoon off. So since I do still have to sit in the office, to answer the phone if it did ring I was surfing the net.

I ran across this video. At first, I was going to click back because the song was to slow for my taste. Then I watched the story. It touched home for me. I grow up in a small town and not everyone liked me. I had friends but not many.

Somehow, I know that this is a big world and there are many people in it. I have always known this. Whenever I feel lost and alone I know that, I am not alone. There are people out there that do get me. All I had to do was get out into the world and meet them. It has taken me far with this attitude. So please if you are out there and feel stuck and alone just remember. It is a big world and there are people out there that will get you. You just have to get out there and take chances.  

                             

From u-tub aviciis Wake Me Up

What makes you happy

This is just a post extension from yesterday. I thought I would write about all the things that excite me or make me happy. This is going to be short and sweet. After all, it is summer and a beautiful day.

10. A beautiful sunrise or sunset.

Nothing better than the beauty of nature and every sunrise and sunset is different.

9. New shoes that do not hurt my feet.

I hate when you try them on at the store and then get home. You go for a walk and you now have blisters.

8. When I see a relative or friend, I have not seen for a while.

I love my family and friends and I realize that we are all busy with our own lives.  This is why it is always good to schedule some time together.

7. Having my whole family over for dinner.

I love to cook and who better to cook for then the ones you love.

6. The sound of a storm coming in.

I love storms. Unless they are severe then I do not like them.

5. Walking barefoot in the freshly cutgrass.

Nothing better than the soft feeling of grass on your bare feet.

4. Trying out a new recipe and having it be great.

It is always scary to try new things.

3. Taking a great picture.

Photography is one of my life passions and I do not get to play with it that much.

2. Listening to the C.O. snoring next to me in bed.

You may ask why. Because it is better than not having him there.  He could be dead and then I would miss his snoring.

1.       Seeing my children happy.

 

Everyone wants his or her children to be happy.



 

Productive Monday?

I decided that I was going to have a productive Monday. I had a relaxing weekend and was all powered up with things to do. My mind was racing with new ideas. They say that Mondays are never productive so I thought I would go against the grain.

First, the computer was doing that thing it does. My needed programs for my business would not load up. This happens occasionally for unknown reasons. I had to restart four times. Every reboot took 10 minutes from my time  Ok do not get frustrated I thought just keep moving forward, I told myself.

Of course, it is Monday and an employee was late. Her daughter would not get out of bed. Nor did she want to get dressed yada, yada, yada.

After I got the employee’s out the door, I tried to balance our checking accounts.  I had a discrepancy of $129.47 that I could not find. I went back a whole week and did not find it. Now, keep in mind I reconcile at least daily. That has taken 2 hours of my time still do not know the discrepancy.

My Retired husband kept coming over every 30 min asking me what I am doing. Did I figure out the checking account yet?  I also had to listen to his obsession about where a missing stepladder went to and who drove what car what day.

Then, I took the dog for her walk; she was overly obsessed with smells on the ground. I suppose after all it is trash day. Everybody’s smells are all over the road. A couple of times I literally had to drag her.

When I got back to the office, I kept getting new E-mails that I need to address right away. I suppose that maybe others are trying to have a productive Monday. After all, I had a bunch of e-mails to send out. Which I did, yet I have not gotten my responses back yet. I need to be more forceful (note to self).

The phone kept ringing. People wanted to schedule or reschedule. This usual happens on Mondays, but it is time consuming. Wait a minute I should put that down as a productive activity. I have one. There it is! I have one accomplishment. Yah!!!!

OK It is now almost noon and I feel as if I have accomplished nothing.  I quickly straightened up my desk and vacuumed the floor.  There I have two accomplishments today.

The Decision about what to have for dinner took 20 min. In addition, at noon, I had to stop everything and make a berry pie I had promised to make today. After all, It is the C.O. favorite pie, I am sure he wanted to have it with his lunch and I was slacking.

Thank goodness, that productive Tuesday is coming soon.  I do not think I can take any more of this lets make Monday productive day. It is more like how much more can irritate me Monday day.

It is now 1:25pm and I decided to have lunch. I usually eat my lunch at noon but I was baking a pie! I decided to have junk food because I needed it. I had tortilla chips and cheese. And a pop! Cause I needed it.  Special note to all of you out there. I bought Velveeta sharp cheddar cheese in the block instead of American cheese in a block. The Velveeta was cheaper. I am sure it is for a reason (as it is not real cheese).  Not the same (it is crap). The cheese does not even grate up it just slimes allover. I went ahead and used it any ways.  I like real food, which is why I buy American cheese. I know it is not real cheese either. It is close enough for when you want and need junk food.

So, it is now 2:45pm and I have the employees out to work. I Handled customers on the phone. I walked the dog. I baked a pie. I figured out where the ladder went.  I took care of all my e-mails. I straightened up my desk and vacuumed the floor. I decided what to have for dinner and have it in the oven.  I still have not figured out where my $129.47 discrepancy is. Maybe I will accomplish this on productive Tuesday.

Living in the jungle

Published on tube  Robin Thick Blurred lines FT T,I Pharrell 

Why do we like this song!

I do need to update this post as they are now overplaying the song. I am getting sick of it. the media needs to realize sometime we can get to much of a good thing

We like this song, because we are good girls. We are awesome women that work hard all day long. We take care of everyone in our life 24-7. Our needs constantly put on hold. We need fantasy and we need now. We need it good. We need it fast. It sets us free.

It is a catchy tune. It is fun. It is fast. You can dance to it.

Why would anyone hate this song? I am not sure why. Maybe a woman that cannot connect with that animal instinct inside her would dislike it. Publicly show dislike for it but I know inside she probable has that earworm thing going on.

Here is another song I just totally love.

 Sonia Dada Published on u-tube

One of my best songs to work out to

Yes I know I am an old lady but I am not dead.

Here are some Parody's of Blurred lines

 I like this parody

 This one is alright



Baseball Americas favorite pastime

Pamelarichardson.blogspot.com

 

Baseball is the Americans favorite pastime. What is it that engages us so much about this game? I come from generations of Twins fans. Not a game went by without it either being on the radio or the television.  I remember the adults gathered around the radio sometimes in the wee hours of the night. You could hear laughter and cheering.  This game, this thing called Baseball was their joy and sorrow.

The problem is I am not a baseball fan. Never have been. I liked to play baseball when I was younger.  Whenever we had a family get together on the farm, we would play baseball.  My Aunts, Uncles and cousins all joined in. This was fun because it was family interaction. There was more going on than the game and we had more action. Watching Baseball to me on the other hand is like watching a bug crawl across the floor. Occasionally the bug may have a hurdle to get over such as a dropped crumb.  Just like in Baseball occasionally, someone gets on base and the bases are loaded.  A big hitter comes up to bat and everyone in on edge. I guess this is why people love baseball. These moments a far and few between.

When I was growing up for the most part when Baseball was on at home, I would take a nap.  With the constant low rallying of the crowd and the announcers talking in a constant tone, it was great white noise.

Yes, there are tight butts in Baseball also. There are hot looking men.  Muscles abound in the world of Baseball. Still I have no passion for watching the game.

One time the C.O. got free tickets to watch the Twins. I was the only one he could find that was willing to go with him. did I say willing. I meant I was roped into it. We went and it was a 6:00pm game.  Now I was working at a job where I had to get up at 3:00am every workday. This was a Wednesday night.  I was tired and I fell asleep. Hey, it was a natural reaction to watching a Baseball game. I had trained my body and mind to fall asleep whenever a Baseball game came on. This was a natural defense mechanism for me. Otherwise, I would have died of boredom somewhere over the years.

When one of my sons was playing junior softball, I thought that was fun. I got into the game but not because I love the game. It was because I love my son.  I think it is great when children can be involved in a sport. This is only As long as the parents and couches do not take it so seriously. Along with that, I also do not like it when everyone is equal. If you suck at it, you suck at it. Learn to move on and find another sport or work harder to get better.

When I was young, I liked and was good at gymnastics. I could not do that now.  Anyways I thought I would be fair and do an article about baseball. After all a writer should take on the challenge of writing about something, they are not passionate about. It will be a good exercise for my writing skills.

 

First things first

First things first.

When I get up in the morning I have to pee, I have a dog bouncing around wanting to get out, cause she has to pee, coffee to be ground (ya, I have an old fashion coffee maker) and a cat meowing in the window to get in and eat.

So I ask you. What do I do first? It depends. It depends how badly I have to pee. How desperate the dog looks and how much do I need that coffee right away.

There is no given order to what I do in the morning. It all depends on many things. This is my morning darn it and I will do what I want.

Sure, you have to have a given order to something like building a home or what not. You have to draw up the blueprints, get permits taken care of before you pour the concrete. Otherwise, you are going to screw it up. If it is an inanimate object, it works well actually and that is what you have to do. There is science in that but not with humans and living things, there is no science. Oh sure the building eventually rots or breaks down but its preditable.

Life is supposed to have a plan, a sort of protocol.  Graduate from school. Get a Job. Get married and then have kids. Ok I did all that and then the divorce.  What now?  I did what you were supposed to do and in the order that it was supposed to be done. It was my idea or I mean I filed for the divorce.  I just could not live with a womanizer. I am not bitter. I was bitter at first but if not for our marriage I would of not had my three sons. Nor, would I have had the experiences I have had the privilege to have.

Heck, now day’s people have children and then they get married.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, as long as it is agreeable for both parties. I should be the last person to judge another I am just saying. Heck people have sex with other people before they even really know them. It  is all "Willie-nillie" if you ask me.  There is a whole array of unplanned things going on here and not in order.

Humans are strange creatures. There is a whole industry researching our every move. Just think about it we have to research ourselves to figure out why we do what we do.

Anyways the order of things is gone like "throwing the baby out with the bath water."  People just keep doing their own thing and we are just supposed to except it darn it. After all it’s working for them or at least their making you think that.

So, I will do what I want to do or need to do first. And I will do it in the order that is important to me at any giving time.

This is my flow of things from now on

 

Robbery in a small town

I wrote a song.  No, I can’t sing it. I can’t sing. No, I do not know how to play an instrument. I just winged it.

It a country song so when you read it put a twang in it. Here you go. Check it out.

Oh, yah this is a true story. This happened in my small town I grow up in back in 1974

 Robbery in a small town.

My mama said to gather around and listen
I got a tale to tell a tale to tell you all
She had just come home from her day job at the bar
Sit down sit down you all gota to hear it all

A smirk on her face told us it was going to be funny

It all started when A 67 Chevy came rolling into town

The two men must had been scoping it all out
They needed money for the bills they could not pay

There was a robbery a robbery in a small town

They got away with the money and the beer
They say the 67 Chevy never was found
There was a robbery a robbery in a small town

One was short and the other one was chunky

We never got a good look at their face
They ran into the bartender on their way out
Grabbed the beer and pushed him back into the bank

They had tied up all the tellers and the banker

Disarmed the alarm and left the vault door swinging in the wind
Ask your uncle Bobby he was there at the bank
All they left was a cloud of dust as they high tailed it out of town.

 There was a robbery in a small town

They got away with the money and the beer
They say the 67 Chevy was never found
There was a robbery a robbery in a small town

Now they must of had watched all the previous weeks
Every Friday at exactly 3.00, the bank alarm would go off
And the bar tender heard the noise and came running over with the beer
Now this had been going on ever since I can remember
It was the way they would celebrate the ending of the week

Now who would have thought anything like this?

Sheriff says it could have been one of us
After all, we are in the middle of nowhere
We have so few outsiders coming into town

There was a robbery in a small town

They go away with money and the beer
They say the 67 Chevy never was found
There was a robbery a robbery in a small town