Partner in crime

pamelarichardson.blogspot.com

You need a partner in crime. You know that person that really knows what happened to that lamp in the living room. In addition, that person  knows why you do not want to talk about it and neither do they. In fact, the more partners in crime you have the better off you are.  

Little secrets, like you go out to dinner with friends and one of you goes to the bathroom at the end of the meal. The other walks out with the other couple after they paid for their meal.  You assume that the one in the bathroom is going to pay and the one in the bathroom assumed you had paid. You get down the road 10 miles and an hour has gone by. So, says the one that was in the bathroom. What was the damage for dinner? I do not know you reply.  I thought you were paying for it. You both look at each other and laugh. I am not encouraging this. It can just happen.

 I was tired of newspapers lying around all the time. Every time I wanted to find something important that I had placed on the table, I had to shift through piles of newspaper. The C.O. read it occasionally and then just put in in the recycling. All I really wanted was the Sunday paper.  Our subscription was due. I did not renew it and told them we did not want the paper anymore.

All was fine and dandy for a month.  I would just pick up a Sunday paper in the mornings and everything was peaches and cream in that dept. The newspaper clutter was gone. YAH!  Then occasionally a newspaper would show up in the box. No big deal, just one paper. Then it started coming more frequently. I called. Stop Paper!    

We still get the paper. Wed thou Sunday.  The C.O. is happy because he has his paper back and now (as a special bonus) it is free. I am not happy and I am not paying for it.

My Zen

My Zen

La la la la la here I am humming along. Dote ta Dutta dote. I have accomplished almost everything I wanted to do (no problems) until eerrtt! 

My Zen absolutely interrupted. That gull-darn Internet security. Do not get me wrong I am glad it is there; nevertheless, when I cannot even get into my own blasted accounts, something is wrong! I have to use passwords everywhere for just about everything I need to do on line. There are all kinds of rules and then different protocols for usernames and passwords. Along with this every 3 to six month, you have to change them (for your security). My mind cannot take this. I have too much other stuff to remember, like what I am supposed to do today let alone remember all those pass words.

I know write them down. However, where did I write them down and where did I put that dang piece of paper? In addition, did I write down the new change to the password from the last time I was supposed to have changed it? Hummmmm? I spent a few moments pondering this.

They say you are not supposed to have the same password for everything. How can you? They all have different protocol and then it is mandatory to change them at any different given times. Not to mention you cannot have the same or similar wording from the old password, when you have to change them. I must confess, sometime I do use a similar formula for all of them. Yes, I have had those few moments when I have them all in sync, only to have to start the whole process again in 3 months or if I am adding a new device. 

Although it is amazing how they can be synced up together (if you know your passwords and user names). In addition, how it helps my Zen zoom along.

My mind!!!! I can’t do this!

Here is an example for you of insignificant threat of security. Let say a cooking web site. Really why? I would believe that they want me to use their recipes. I would believe that they would make it easy to access their database. After all, why would they put it out there for free? Who is going to steal my identity on their web site? Really? Why?

Therefore, since I forgot my user ID and password, because I have not visited the web site for 6 months. I have to go through all their security stuff. Heavens forbid it is not me wanting that recipe.  I have to answer questions I set up 6 months ago. However, for some reason I miss spelled the answer (imagine that) and do not remember how I misspell it. So I ask for help. Now I just wait for the e-mail or they do give me the choice of calling me directly. I choose e-mail, only to find out they have my old e-mail address that I cancelled and is no longer linked with my other e-mails. I went back in and choose call me on my cell phone, now I have to go look for my cell phone. In addition, go through the procedure again. 2 hour later, I got the stupid recipe.

Needless to say, we are having something different for dinner tonight. Maybe I will use the recipe tomorrow. 

I just cannot escape this

I just cannot escape this.

I just cannot escape it. At first, I thought I could just walk away. That was sooosooo many years ago. Then I felt an urgent feeling that  I needed to speed up. So I found myself running. Yet, no matter how fast I went, there it was. At first, I would just see an occasional glimpse of it, and then slowly and surly I would see it more and more  in the mirror, around every corner and in every refection. UUUUGGGGHHH!  The crone!

I am now considered an old crone, a stock character in folklore and fairy tales. I am an old woman. I am used in some stories, as disagreeable, malicious, or sinister in manner, often with magical or supernatural associations that can make me either helpful or obstructing. I am also an archetypal figure, a Wise Woman. Although, I am marginalized by my exclusion from the reproductive cycle, and my proximity to death places me in contact with occult wisdom. As a character type, I share characteristics with the hag.

I do like the title though,
Triple Goddess, 
popularized by Robert Graves and I am not sure about this but part of the neo-paganism, particularly Wicca in which she symbolizes the Dark Goddess, the dark of the moon, the end of a cycle. In New Age and Feminist spiritual circles, a "Croning" is a ritual rite of passage into an era of wisdom, freedom, and personal power.

Somehow, I do not feel useless. Neither do I feel that wise. Maybe a little more tired at the end of the day. However, I have a hard time sleeping. What is this about? I thought that I would incorporate more exercise into my life. But NO, I lay awake, because exercising more just causes a flare up of my sciatica. Also, other sports injuries I have acquired in my life just to avoid or slow her down.

I am at the end of the cycle. Things are spreading out, falling down and flapping in the breeze. Some parts of me have even developed a mind of their own and are growing in a direction they are not supposed to.

  Not that I am complaining, Ok! I guess I am. All the exercising I have done over the years useless! In addition, it used to be I could drop 10 pounds in three weeks by just cutting back on my food intake. I cannot cut back anymore! Furthermore, if I lose any weight, I just have more stuff flapping around in the breeze.

I did not go grudgingly into daughterhood, sisterhood, wifehood or motherhood. However, I will not go gentle into this rite of passage. I am going kicking, screaming and dragging my feet. 

My hair has lost its luster and bounce. I am thinking of going platinum. I might as well just cut to the chase. Right now I find more and more of these white strange scraggly things poking out of my head. They are unruly and a menace to any styling.  So, I am thinking of cutting my hair into the basic old lady short haircut.

My skin is thinning and starting to resemble something like Crape paper.  Gees Louise, if I could just go back to the occasional pimple of the past, I would be content. Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror and pull my skin on my face back with the palms of my hands. Oh! There I am I say.

All the supplements I have taken over the years to evade her, no relief. As if, they were magic potions. Even the special creams I have been using are just wasting my money.  I am still becoming an old crone. I cannot stop it. Every time I look in the mirror, there she is again! The old crone! This is not me, the me that I see in my mind.

Worst of all, in this new phase of my life I am in, I have to start writing down everything I need to do for the next day. This is distressing, because it takes me all day to write the list. Not to mention I have to carry it around with me because otherwise, I will be walking around mumbling under my breath asking myself what am I supposed to be doing.

I have been thinking of wearing scarves and turtlenecks, to cover up my sagging jaw line and turtle like neck. Now I know why they call them turtlenecks. To cover-up, your turtle like neck. Never been one to wear much makeup. However, I am sure considering it now. It used to be all I had to do was fluff the hair and go. Maybe a little mascara and blush.

This complete panic attack all started the other day. Like this was a complete surprise to me, duh. As if I had no clue, I was getting old. I was standing in a checkout line and reading the front of all those magazines, and then I saw Christie Brinkley on the front of one of them. She is turning 60 years old. Huh, I saw nothing spreading out, falling down or flapping in the breeze on her. Really, I thought to myself there obviously is some brush-up work on this photo. In addition, I would suspect she has seen a bunch of witch doctors that casted a no age spell on her

 Now we have all seen the pictures of plastic surgeries gone wrong, so even if I had the money, with my luck I would probably be one of those gone wrong surgeries. They would plaster my mug shot on a web site somewhere.

I began to look around and all I saw was old women. They were going about their business as if nothing was wrong. The problem came in when I realized I was one of them. We were all the same. Old woman, crones and hags. Of course, we were out shopping in the middle of the day. We have all day and all day to do it in, as the saying goes. We just have to get back home before dark, because we cannot see that well anymore at night.  We do not have jobs to fill our days.  We do not have small children to take care. We are crones. 

To my relief and delight, on this very same shopping trip, I ran into old friend. She is 10 years my senior. We talked a little and then gave each other a big hug. I missed her and thought of her all the time. I cannot remember why we stopped hanging out together. We talked for about a half hour and decided we needed to get back to our errands.  At that point, we exchanged phone numbers.  We also planned a lunch date. Of course, we both had to check out our schedule. As you know, everything is planned and written down in advance.

 Funny thing, when I first looked at her. I did not see the parts of her that were spreading out, falling down and flapping in the breeze. All I saw was the shine in her eyes and her beautiful soul that shined through them.  

Therefore, as I see it, I have two choices, not really, whom I am fooling. I have one choice and that is to except my fate. I am an old crone and I will not be getting any younger. Therefore, I will embrace my age, accept my medal of honor, and make use of my time to use it for good and enjoy the rest of my life.

It is a matter of TIME

 pamelarichardson.blogspot.com

We all struggle with time. Time either goes to slow or to fast but in reality it is always the same constant. Therefore, I thought we would look at this thing, TIME.

Here are some of the saying I hear about time, let check them out.

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# Time is of the Essence. #           

What is Essence anyways?                 

Here is the definition from dictionary:

1.       The basic, real, and invariable nature of a thing or its significant individual feature or features’.

2.       A substance obtained from a plant, drug, or the like, by distillation, infusion, etc. and containing its characteristic properties in concentrated form.

3.       An alcoholic solution of an essential oil; spirit.

4.       The inward nature, true substance, or constitution of anything, as opposed to what is accidental, phenomenal or  illusory

OK.I am glad that Essence is now been cleared up here. It sounds like we drink it and get intoxicated off time to me.  No wonder we keep losing time.

                                   pamelarichardson.blogspot.com                               

Albert Einstein said time is an illusion.

I tend to believe him.  We perceive it to be going faster or slower yet it does not change. And you can never catch up to it. It is always on the horizon just out of reach. Yet, it is always with you but you cannot touch it.

                                                pamelarichardson.blogspot.com

Time marches on.

 How can it march on, it has no legs. A clock may have arms but no legs maybe that is why sometimes it seems to be dragging.

                                                          pamelarichardson.blogspot.com

Time stood still.

Time cannot stand still. It is constant and always moving. Here we go again. How can it be constant and be moving? And again time has no legs to stand on.

Definition of constant

1.       Ever present always present or available

2.       Happening or done repeatedly or made again and again

3.       Not changing or varying remaining the same and not varying with change in other things.

Time must get awfully tired because it is constantly repeating itself. .

Time heals all wounds

Time will never heal wounds, maybe cover them up with a scar. You can still experience numbness and pain sometime when you touch it.  Anyone knows that.

Anyways these are just a few things I think about TIME